I haven’t posted on this site in a really long time. I haven’t written in a long time, either.
There are many different reasons for this that I don’t feel comfortable sharing here. The older I get, the more paranoid I become about sharing my personal information or emotions on the Internet – at least, in a webspace where my real name or picture is available. Suffice it to say that a lot has happened since my last post, and not all of it has been good.
I no longer live in the Midwest, for one thing. Now I live in Arizona, where I was born. To be honest, it doesn’t feel like home, just like Minnesota never felt like home. My heart still belongs to Texas. It’s been 18 months since I graduated from college. I wonder if I will ever stop grieving the loss of my beautiful city.
“Real life,” aka life after college, isn’t super conducive to writing poetry. There is always work to be done. Cats to clean up after. Bills to pay and bills to worry about. I know that the vast majority of poets somehow balance real life and their art, but it’s not something that I’ve figured out how to do quite yet. Maybe once my grieving is done and my finances are more stable.
I haven’t stopped writing for good. I know that my ability to write is still there, even though I’ve put it aside for now. Whenever I’m ready, I can pick up the pen (or laptop, whatever) and start where I left off. And when that happens, I’ll come back to this blog to share with whoever reads this.
I remain stressed and tired, but optimistic. 😀