Leap of Faith

It’s December, the season of bells, or
as it turned out this year, the season of fire.
I’ve forgotten the salt taste that flicks
across my lips when I am cornered, and every
room has its corners these days, every
news story its splash of pomegranate
and ruby.

December: month of litanies,
season of vigil. The month I cross my arms
over my chest, almost involuntarily,
while praying, as if I can melt
the pure white core inside me
and send it, atom by atom, into
the mild grey sky.

The words move inefficiently, frosted
as soon as they hit the air, but I
say them anyway:
grant me the grace to desire it. It being,
ostensibly, humility, but what I really
want to want is her warm golden head

nestled against your sweatered shoulder,
and above you both, the slow year turning
to its end. We’re all looking for something
that says home and safe and loved,

after all, in this season of miracles,
or of sonnets, or of bittersweet.

Into incense: grant me the grace.

8 Songs from 2014

The calendar and school years are wrapping up, and sensing the New Year’s parties rapidly approaching, Spotify has released a new feature wherein it will take your 100 most-listened-to songs of 2014 and put them in one playlist, presumably so you can listen to and enjoy them all over again.
The problem with this? Most of the songs I’ve obsessively listened to have become tangled up, for better or worse, with a specific memory. So, because this is my blog and I can talk about whatever I want (un/fortunately), here are 8 of my top 100 songs of 2014. Yay.

1. “Welcome Home” – Radical Face

Heal the scars from off my back
I don’t need them anymore
You can throw them out or keep them in your mason jars
I’ve come home

I first heard this song when I was at work during the spring semester.  Since then, it’s consistently been my most listened song – and apparently I’m not alone.  Radical Face’s song “Always Gold” has been sampled in Facebook’s “Say Thanks” videos!

2. “Let Your Heart Hold Fast” – Fort Atlantic

So let your heart hold fast
For this soon shall pass
Like the high tide takes the sand

In August, I was reeling from what seemed like endless tragedy.  I didn’t feel ready for senior year.  I listened to this song on repeat as I moved into my new room.

3. “More Than Life” – Whitley

To touch something real,
Will help your wounds heal,
Like the sun on your face,
The dreams of starry nights.

August nights are beautiful in Houston, and anything can happen.

4. “Down the Road” – C2C

I went on a huge electronic music binge this summer.  This is one of the strangest and catchiest tracks I stumbled upon.

5. “Anything” – Hedley

A thousand disbelievers couldn’t keep me on the ground,
I’ve invented a momentum that’ll never slow me down,
I believe it ’cause I feel it, and I shout it out loud,
I can, I can, I can so

In January, the pressure of what I sensed would be my most difficult semester yet was starting to get to me.  So naturally, this song was a lifesaver.  And you know what?  It’s still damn relevant right.  Now.  UH-UH, FUCK THAT!  I CAN DO ANYTHING.

6. “Fortune Days” – The Glitch Mob

Besides working over the summer, I was also very sick most of the time.  I listened to The Glitch Mob and dubstep artists like Skrillex and Excision to help me express some of my anger and frustration and to help give me courage.  (Brostep seems to have been a little too extreme to get on my top 100.)

7. “Hey Brother” – Avicii

Hey brother, there’s an endless road to rediscover.

This was my go-to anthem for a solid year of cramming for biochemistry.  As a result, I can’t listen to it without getting tense around the shoulders, but damn if it isn’t still a good song.

8. “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” – Sufjan Stevens

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be
Let that grace now, like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee

If you’re not a religious person or don’t like the “plinkiness” of Suf’s version (I won’t judge, I promise) the tune this hymn is usually set to is “Nettleton”.  My favorite song since the first day I heard it all the way back in 2011.