To touch something real
Will help your wounds heal,
Like the sun on your face,
The dreams of starry nights.
And we are homeward bound.
– Whitley, “More than Life“
The day before senior year starts. WOW. I’m really excited but also very nervous. At the beginning of the summer I didn’t know how I was going to survive, but now I feel like the months went by really quickly. And despite the terrible things that happened, I managed to enjoy myself after all. The other day I woke up and wrote down a quote I had dreamed about: “The world is as complex as we need it to be.” Unlike many such quotes I’ve dreamed/hallucinated over the years, I think this makes a certain amount of sense.
Yesterday was Dis-O, move-in day for the upperclassmen. “It stands for Disorientation Day, doesn’t it?” asked one of the freshmen I was volunteering with, and although I’d never thought very much about it I realized she was right. Our campus is “wet”, meaning that alcohol is allowed (with certain restrictions), and after being dry during the freshmen’s orientation week it turned wet yesterday afternoon. And I do mean SOAKING wet. My new floor is known for hosting wild parties, so I actually had to climb the stairs to a different floor so I could use the elevator to go down to the basement to do my laundry for work (try following that statement.) Fortunately I still wasn’t as incapacitated as the people playing beer pong in our lobby.
I was never one for beer pong. I prefer my alcohol in “girly” drinks like screwdrivers or White Russians, although I’ve had good beer (the kind that’s a few dollars a bottle, absolutely not PBR) over the summer and it was surprisingly good.
Laundry completed, I was walking over to visit a friend last night when I again got a sudden, inexplicable feeling of happiness and warmth. Unlike the silent campus I’d gotten used to over the summer, every building was full of light. People were relaxing on swings and benches outdoors, playing music and eating leftovers from the tailgates. I realized that even though I’ve complained (a lot) about this school over the years, and even though I’ve made my fair share of enemies, I’m really going to miss living here next year when I get kicked off-campus.
I find my happiness in difficult, complex places. I’ve found hope when I least expected it, but when I needed it the most. And I suppose I’m ready, or as ready as I’ll ever be, to begin my fourth year of college in less than 24 hours. 🙂