Letters from the Hedge: August 17, 2014

There are places I’ll remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all.

– The Beatles, “In My Life”

Do you sometimes just get tired?  Not physically tired, of course, but emotionally tired.  I do.  I woke up one morning earlier this week and decided that I was just done with being sad.  I’m not used to being sad – depressed, yes, but sadness is different.  I’m just tired of feeling things, I suppose.

The other day, I discovered I had a fairly large cavity in one of my teeth.  Sadly, I have neither the time nor the money to get it fixed right away, but hopefully with good hygiene and not too much sugar it won’t decay much more until I can get around to making an appointment.  I never realized how much soda I drank until I suddenly couldn’t anymore.  Can you say migraine?

Today is move-in day for the freshmen – “freshmens” as a coworker calls them.  I feel so much older than them, even though I can’t be more than three years older than the youngest.  It will be so weird living on-campus during their orientation week.  Is it a little sad that I’m still resentful over not being chosen as an advisor?  Yeah, probably.  I guess I’m just not cut out to be successful or popular in that area.  

The new round of auditions is coming up.  I’ve been invited to two already – one is a musical, though, so that’s out.  The other play is being directed by the same guy who directed two other plays I auditioned for but didn’t get a part in.  I’m sure he’s getting tired of seeing me and my poor acting skills, but you know what?  It’s a free country and I love auditions.  Maybe this third time will be a charm!

I’m supposed to be flying home today from visiting my family, but due to bad weather the take-off time has already been pushed back an hour and a half, I only get 30 minutes of Internet, and my tooth is really starting to bother me.  I can feel these tiny stressors piling up on me – losing financial aid, having a toothache, my flight being delayed – and even though individually they’re very small, I’m getting tired of balancing all of them.  There it is again, tired.  Well, then.

Oh, and I’m planning to start an exercise regime this year.  We will see how well that works out!



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