In Which I Write As Many Short Poems with Obnoxiously Long Titles As I Can in Five Minutes

About The Nature of the Universe

They say the observable universe is only

14 gigaparsecs wide.  I never knew

how wide that was until I looked into

your eyes and saw galaxies

that were already billions of

years old by the time their light

reached me.


Amino Acids, Or The Fun of Naming

With amino acids you can spell


Or you can just spell DICK.


also an option.


I Guess That’s Okay Too

You weren’t as big of

a jerk about it as you could

have been.  In my mind

that’s cause for champagne.


Why I Like Bruises

Turns out the human body

is much more delicate

than anyone could have imagined.

Even the strongest people

with the purest of hearts get 

hurt sometimes.  It’s one

of the things that makes us

different from fairy tale characters.


Men Named John

There are way too many men

named John in Jane Eyre.  Even

Jane is the feminine version

of John.  And don’t even get

me started on Bertha Mason.


Actually, I Will Talk About Bertha Mason

“I wanted her just as a change,” says

Rochester.  Would you marry a man

who called you a change?  And don’t you

think Bertha Mason misses Jamaica?

Even I do.  And I’ve never been there.


Apologies To The Theater Director

After seven college classes and no

dinner, I’m pretty tired, tired enough

that I no longer resemble a fairy, or

an elf, or even a human but just

thing constructed of biological

molecules that really, really